The Mommies, Esquire love “touchy” subjects. We’re lawyers, therefore…we are not afraid of a little conflict. Here’s the latest controversial topic:
Do you recycle gifts?
Be honest. Do you do it? Have you ever?
It’s Christmas and we all know that you will get at least one thing you may not want/like/have use for. Julie and Kim realize this when they send out gifts. Julie is an amateur photographer and her gifts are not likely to be recycled. Kim’s gifts? Well, she sends out handmade aprons, knitted scarves, etc. The same cannot be said for Crazy Aunt Kim’s creations. Really.
Because we don’t want to incriminate ourselves or our friends who’ve been so gracious to divulge what they’ve recycled, here’s a list of some things we’ve “heard” that have been recycled in years past at the holidays….or in the most recent week. We also must tell you that some of the things on this list are gifts that we’ve received and strongly believe that they are recycled gifts at their worst.
Here it is, folks:
1. Small cut glass nativity from Hobby Lobby with a nick in Baby Jesus’s head.
2. Knitted washcloths and homemade soap that smells like a horse’s behind.
3. Hello Kitty pedometer and stopwatch
4. Hot cocoa giftset from Walmart with a 1997 expiration date.
5. A Christmas blanket made into a vest
6. Photo albums (with someone’s family picture that they forgot to take out before they recycled it….no joke)
7. Fake mounted buck’s head that sings Willie Nelson songs
8. Tweety bird Chia pet
Cha, cha, cha....CHIA!!!
9. Box of Bumpits (see Cheers & Jeers)
10. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer dangle earrings that light up
11. Antlers and red nose to turn your minivan or car into Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
12. 12 month desk calendar, “Puppies From Around the World”….features Chiahuahua dressed in a sombrero on the cover
13. Gingerbread House kit
14. ShamWow towels
15. Package of athletic socks
16. Red feather boa (cause nothing says Merry Christmas like looking like a prostitute straight off the streets of Amsterdam)
17. Ugly Christmas sweater vest with bells that hang from the zipper and snowmen dancing all around the bottom of the vest with their little stick arms up in the air (Obviously, snowmen can dance…puttin’ their hands in the air….wavin’ ‘em like they jus don’t care…Hey!!! Ho!!! Hey!!! Ho!!!! Holla!!!)
Look at him go! Wooo Hooo! Or is he peeing snow? Can't tell...
18. Lee press on nails with little snowmen and snowflakes painted on them
So, so pretty, but Uh....how do you wash your hands with these bad boys?
19. A gift certificate to Auto Zone
20. A Snuggie
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So, what’s the moral of the story? Do unto others, folks. Remember the Golden Rule. If you didn’t want that dang Chia pet, then chances are likely that your cousin won’t either. We’re just sayin’……
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I got a white chocolate artificial hip. No. Joke. My boyfriend at the time gave it to me. His parents owned a company that distributed artificial hips and I am pretty sure one of the vendors gave it to them. Also, my sis in law once got a Target gift card from her sister in the amount of $48.61. A used gift card or one that she just accumulated with returns. Now that is bad!
I would have had to keep those nails… perfect for a funny conversation starter at stuffy Christmas party!!
Merry Christmas, ladies!
Heyyyyyyy…….I want the Sham Wow towels!!!!!