Says Julie: (taken from an earlier post….too great not to repost here, folks):
"I SAID GIMME A RAISE...NOW!!!! AND A COMPANY CAR!!!! AND A TWO HOUR LUNCH HOUR!!!! NOW...BEFORE I BARF ALL OVER YOUR EXPENSIVE SHOES!
My friend and another Mommy, Esquire, Anderson, sent me a fabulous column written by a Mom who noted how wonderful it would be if we could throw toddler tantrums as grown ups. Which got me to thinking about how great it would be if we all just decided that toddler behavior in general was universally acceptable behavior for all of us. Because not only would it eliminate the humiliation that we parents feel when our kids act out, but it would probably lead us to drink less and have lower blood pressure.
For instance, next time you’re at work and you want to tell your boss something, don’t make an appointment. Even if he’s on the phone, it’s ok! Just burst through the door and dance around in front of him yelling “Bob, I want a raise! Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Hey Bob, Bob, Bob, Hey, a raise, a raise, I want a raise, now, now, now, now, NOW!” If he says no and tries to wave you away, just stand there and scream at the top of your lungs until he reaches in his pocket and throws some money at you and yells “Now GO! What have I told you about interrupting me?” But don’t worry, you won’t get fired. It’s all good.
Also, when you go to lunch with friends and the waitress asks you what you’ll be having, tell her you want the PoopyBurger and Poo Poo fries with extra Poo on the side and then laugh hysterically with all your friends. She’ll be so amused. So will all the other patrons.
Have a dinner party. Serve nothing but Cheetos and gummy worms. In the middle of dinner, stand up and announce to everyone that you have to go poo-poo. Then holler as loudly as you can “I’m finished now….can someone come wipe me?” It’s cool. It’s cool.
Pick your nose while you’re standing in line at the grocery store and inspect it real good and then wipe it on your shirt. Look around to make sure no one saw you. They probably didn’t. So go ahead and do it again. Except this time wipe it on the guy’s shirt standing in front of you. Then point it out to your husband and die laughing. Poot really loudly while you’re laughing and then laugh even harder.
Think how much more fun we’d be as grown ups if we only acted like our kids sometimes. And much less stressed.
After all, you never see alcoholic toddlers popping Lipitor. I’m just sayin’.
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Oh my goodness! You’ve actually shared your hard earned title of Mommy, Esquire with me! I feel so honored. So glad you reposted this…George and I have recently been “reenacting” undesirable behavior so Trey can see how utterly ridiculous he looks when he falls to pieces over something insignificant. He actually laughs when he sees Mommy or Daddy on their back, waving our arms and screaming at the top of our lungs. It diffuses the situation and I feel much better after having the little tantrum of my very own!